Floyd the Barber
Bell on door clanks, come on in
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down chair don't be afraid
Steamed hot towel on my face

I was shaved, I was shaved, I was shaved

Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see, I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip
Peepee pressed against my lips

I was shaved, I was shaved, I was shaved

I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bea, I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I died smothered in Andy's butt

I was shaved, I was shaved, I was shaved